When you meet someone you genuinely like and they seem to like you back until all of a sudden SIKE you’re not good enough.
In the past 24 hours I:
1.) Got drunk.
2.) Had my ex call me an “Ice Queen Bitch.”
3.) Taught a room full of women how to take a proper ass pic.
4.) Found a man’s number written on the inside of my leftover pizza box.
5.) Saw more boobs in person than any of you.
6.) Was asked by one of my best friends to either fuck on cam or make an amateur porn for extra cash.
7.) Had my nails done.
When you try to have girl talk with your male yoga teacher friend and it backfires and you suddenly feel uncomfortable…
That awful feeling after you lose someone is how I constantly feel. Emotionally dead, drained, empty.
If only I could figure out how to turn it off without having to abuse any substances..
@hayhaybrittnay’s new phone is almost as big as my head.
Oh hi it’s me.
aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall
When the cashier at your local drug store says, “Have a good day” after ringing in a giant box of magnum condoms, its hard to not scream, “THANK YOU I WILL!” and high five her as you walk away.