Oh yeah?

That awful feeling after you lose someone is how I constantly feel. Emotionally dead, drained, empty.

If only I could figure out how to turn it off without having to abuse any substances..

tapdance:

@hayhaybrittnay’s new phone is almost as big as my head.

Oh hi it’s me.

tapdance:

@hayhaybrittnay’s new phone is almost as big as my head.

Oh hi it’s me.

aminaabramovic:

aziz ansari’s voice in the back of my head faintly telling me to treat myself is going to be my downfall

When the cashier at your local drug store says, “Have a good day” after ringing in a giant box of magnum condoms, its hard to not scream, “THANK YOU I WILL!” and high five her as you walk away.

jtotheizzoe:

zenpencils:

BILL WATTERSON ‘A cartoonist’s advice’

This. 

My friend sent me this screenshot from a book she’s reading because it made her think of me. I’m so flattered.

My friend sent me this screenshot from a book she’s reading because it made her think of me. I’m so flattered.

That awkward moment when you check out of the hotel you work at seasonally, and the person at the front desks casually hands over the rings you accidentally left in a man’s room the night before, because he couldn’t figure out how to find you..

That even more awkward moment when your step mother asks if you got your rings back from the front desk, because her god son asked her how to find you, but no one can figure out which hotel room you were staying in, and your phone is dead..

This dude wins Tinder.

This dude wins Tinder.

The people I have loved in my life have never been easy to love. I’m not used to normal. I’m used to disaster.
Augusten Burroughs, Dry (via larmoyante)